Thursday, October 09, 2014

Broken

I stand on the top of the hill, letting the morning sun bath me in his warmth.. The sweetness of the breeze caresses my naked soul.. as the grass beneath, plants a wet kiss on my bare feet. I hear the birds singing their love and nature living it's peace.

I should have felt it all.. I should have cherished it all.. I should have wanted to be right where I was.. but no.. I just felt pain.. an anguish, I cannot explain in words or tears.

I seek something. No, I crave it.. I only have a dying memory of how it once felt.. and I wish I could feel it again. Honestly.. I wish I could feel anything remotely close to it.

My mind ran through the hills.. looking for what it was that was once me. Even before I knew it.. I started strolling away from the breeze, the grass and the world become mute in my ears.

I hadn't known how long or how far I had walked, when I stopped. I saw the sun, was now on the west.. The sky was no longer blue.. He had painted it in red, yellow and orange. He smiled at me and was desperate for my attention.

All I saw was that tree at the edge of the hill and the shadow cast of the one leaning against it. He had is back towards me and I couldn't see who it was.. I only saw what the sun chose to show me. I glided closer to get a peek at the one that made me hear my own heart beat.

I froze a few steps away from this stranger. Not because I did not like what I saw, but because I wasn't ready  to see who it was. 

I felt a strong pulse and my pain grew folds. I have been here before.. I have seen what I am seeing now, many times before.. i had frozen then too.. call it a dejavu moment or was I living the same day over and over again...

I remember.. I remember, how it felt to love someone so much, that the walls of my heart bled every moment I spent not telling him how much I loved him or how "I love you" was the only words I wanted to spell in his presence.  I remember how everything hurt me, when he was away and how i thought, nothing could possibly scratch my skin, when he was  with me. I  remember the day I gave up.. or I let go. The day, I let my love for him explode and shatter my heart into a million pieces.

Now, the shadow was no longer a shadow. As if to tease me, the stranger turned around calling my name. My breath, stuck in my throat.. and I started to sweat. My legs, weren't as strong as I hoped they would be. My heart, even weaker.

And... I jolted up from my sleep.

Living this dream over and over again, is more painful than a million deaths I probably could smile through.

I wish this would stop, even if it meant, I never felt anything anymore. I wish this would just stop.

Monday, March 31, 2014

34 Years of my life!!!

Growing old, i am sure, has never been easy for anyone. Today is the last day of me being 34 and I realized I havent done half the crazy stuff i wanted to do. I have never spent a night alone at a cementary, haven't climbed the highest mountain or ever jumped of a plane screaming "I QUIT". 

What I have done may not be as flamboyant as what Jan Kahm or Jimmy Wales did.. but I hope I can proudly say, I have lived through it & managed to inspire a few on the way. I have made a handful of true friends, fallen in love, made some bad choices, regretted a few of them but gotten over it none the less. I can honestly say that I have asked for help when I needed one & reached out to help a few when I could. I have learnt to accept love, to forgive, to smile, to laugh out loud (not just lol on chats) & to accept pain. I have not just grown old, but I have grown as a human being & I have grown wise. 

None of us could pick the family we are born into, but we learn to love each other. We do have a choice at picking our friends and we learn to love them the same - even the nutty ones.... I have never been the easy one to understand, not because I am complicated, but simply because I never understood myself. I have had my phase of insanity, days of nightmares, weeks of heart breaks, months of narcissitic complex and then a deep slump into depression. 

For those who stuck by me through all that drama, Thank you. Thank you for not feeling sorry for me, thank you for not telling me things would be alright or asking me to think all that was just a bad dream. Thank you for keeping me grounded and thank you for snapping me out to my sanity. Without you, I would probably be still in my teens.

For those who chose to leave, Thank you. Without you, I would still have grown but may be a little slower. I have seen the different faces of judgements, the shades of fear or jealousy in all of you. Most of all, I learned the power of giving up from the ones that gave up on me. I learned to let go!!!

So... Today, I stand before all of you and take pride in saying that I am a 34 year old woman who is strong, independent & wise yet capable of loving, caring & forgiving. 

And oh... sexy as hell too.. :D

Tuesday, January 10, 2012

Music review: 3 Idiots vs Nanban

Before I start let me tell you that i am not a professional musician... so i may not be qualified enough for a musical review... but i am a movie fanatic who enjoys good music... if i can feel the music then i think i can tell others how it feels!!!

3 Idiots was a brilliant movie with outstanding musical compositions for songs like "give me some sunshine" & "jaane nahin denge". Other songs were quite entertaining and made me feel like you were in the movie at that time to enjoy that moment. basically happy song made you happy and sad song made you sad!!!


Other than the above 2 situational songs, there were only 3 other songs in 3 Iditos.. behati hawa sa tha, all iz well, zoobi doobi (duet) .

Nanban seems to have about 4 songs and 2 situational songs that are longer than the originals... So lets talk about each of them!!!

"Give me some sunshine" was a song of hope that asks for another chance.... the lyrics not only seeked for hope but it also spoke of the struggle... in just 4 lines this songs (lyrics) and the music makes you feel the desperation the character had as his last hope!!! the Nanban parallel for this song... "endhan kann munne" seems to kind of whinning, in a sense, the lyrics is quite the opposite of the orgininal.. it takes about failures... loss... and dissappointment. The music too sounds very strained.. like they try to make it as good as the original but couldn't.

"jaane nahin denge" touches your heart that says i won't let u go... even without the visuals you understand that some one is dying and someone else is fighting for their life. It shows the bond between friends.. an intimacy that always exists but rarely ever seen physically. it says.. come back to us.. we have a world to conquer. "nalla nanban" on the other hand sounds desparate.. and is too sober for such a scene.. and the lyrics is like they are bargaining for his life... god would you care to take my life instead of his!!!! seriously?? this line might have worked like 10 years ago.. but not anymore!!!! we are survivors and we fight for our life and the life of our loved once.. no more senti senti please..

This is just the preludes... but main songs like "en friend'a pola" and "asku laska" doesn't match for the orginial "behati hawa sa tha" and "zoobi doobi" in terms of music!!! "irukana illaiyanna" (i really can't place this song) reminds me more of "nee nathaswaram pola" from ATM... the one where the entire choreography was jumping like rabbits!!! The "All iz well" is probably the only song that feels a little better in the whole movie but still is not as good as the original..

Having said all this... if nanban was the original and 3 idiots was never made.. then may be we would learn to appreciate it's music.. but having heard the original... and knowing for sure that there is a better way to compose a song for the same scenes (like behati hawa sa, show me some sunshine) nanban's music feels like a good time for a smoke break..

I understand that a remake doesn't have to have the same music for the songs too... but come on.. our music is soo rich and they could come up with only this???

if the music of the remake is not great... i wonder what the sound effect through out the movie be like!!!!! Am i ready for another dissappointment... i don't know!!!

Good luck!!! :)

Sunday, October 30, 2011

Movie review - Ezhaam Arivu

Before I start writing up my thoughts on the movie, let me give a brief on what my expectations were based on the pre-launch claims made by the movie.

The movie raised a lot of expectation with their stills and claims of "never before role" for Surya. The story line claimed to bring back a forgotten hero "Bodhi Dharman". With all these claims and the director Murugadoss'a previous scripts like Ramana.. the expectations were justified.

So, lets see how the movie scored on these expectations.

The 6th century start was quiet thrilling. I basically sat at the edge of the seat hoping to see a mind blowing script all through the movie. The phase at which the 6th century moved was surprising and before I knew it, we were in the present. That was my first disappointment. I still hoped to see a challenging script.

Then comes the routine hero ogling at the heroine shots, nothing unique there. We get to know what the heroine really wants from the hero. Ok I will give this one to them since this was quiet unique for a Indian movie standards, come on, it’s not like she was asking for his sperm to have a test tube baby or something which is technically plausible..

Few rejections and a more than longer crash course of clinical science and DNA, which surprisingly an average circus boy grasps, the heroine gets the go ahead. So, somehow, centuries later, the hero seems to hold 83% of Bodhidharman’s DNA and looks exactly like him.. which is beyond my comprehension on science & DNA.

Mean while, there is a super powerful villain jumping across international borders with a liquid virus, that we are not quite sure how he managed to fly with and the most lamest attempt to spread it through a stray dog. Given that, a shaolin martial arts expert kills half of the city with just mind control?? All that the villain does is turn his head from left to right like a puppy dog and people kill themselves… come on!!!!

And besides, how could mind control give anyone the strength and power to apply martial arts themselves?? I think P C Sarkar does a better mind control than that.. I mean I can understand someone doing a bad version of duck quaking or a chicken laying egg b’coz of mind control.. but a sucker punch…. Mmmmm not so much.. infact, it became kind of boring beyond a point. Personally, I was hoping for some real stunt…

when the villain couldn’t do a mind control on the hero, he calls his master back in shoalin temple on mobile??? Wow, I would say technology wasn’t a strong imprint on monks or in shoalin temples… A shoalin master would never let his disciple use the martial arts for evil and a disciple would never dis-obey his grand master. This could actually be offensive to the world of martial art teachers and students.

And finally, when the forgotten hero is awakened in the hero’s DNA, which in itself doesn’t make much of a sense, how could he not use his mind control to kill the villain.. well I guess they figured stunt has to be there at some point of the movie… how else can one glorify the hero!!!

Besides the obvious weak links in the movie, there were quiet some major ones.

(1) Bodhi Dharman’s history is at most controversial.
(2) The origin and his life has been studied and dis-credited more than once.
(3) There are no records of him being a royal and to why he left india and went to china.
(4) His abilities are described as healing (medical practioner) rather than being a warrior.
(5) He is claimed to have coached Yoga to the Buddhist monks in china to strengthen them. There are records that place strong arguments that the martial arts were developed over this strength and he did not teach the art itself. Which bring a question about his warrior lineage!
(6) The movie accuses the tamils of forgetting a hero and his teaching, which is not justified. Its not like he spent his time spreading his knowledge here.. this was mostly the earliest record of brain drain.
(7) The lack of research in this movie is both disappointing and offensive especially, the scenes where they claim that the Chinese villagers poisoned their present god & that the shoalin master and disciple relationship is superficial.
(8) They kept justifying their decision to let go of research on any of this all through the movie, like saying that bodhi dharman went to china, b’coz he knew of the disease… b’coz he din’t want the disease to come into india.. etc., These were quiet obvious excuses and not justifiable.

Having said all that, the artist performance in the movie wasn’t pleasing either. Surya din’t have much to act as bodhidharman b’coz there wasn’t much of a script to communicate… it was mostly narrative and a few stunts. But the make-up was good. As Aravindan, I believe, the first half of the movie was no different from ayan or any other jumpy love struck hero movies he had done in the past. The second half again, barely had much to act except running most of the time or being sunk into a tank full of fluids and finally a fight. And he seems to enjoy being shirtless in almost all his movies lately. I get it, you exercise and have six packs… but somehow no one is telling him that he is over-doing his exercise and he is starting to look kind of constipated!!

Shruti Hassan, looked pretty all through the movie and unlike the hero she seemed to have had a better role in the movie. However, the change of mind about loving the hero and making a master plan with a lot more weak-links than the movie itself makes her character sway a bit. Her dialogues sounded more matured; however, her facial reactions wouldn’t convey the strength in the words. She still has a good deal to learn.

Other than these two, the villain had most of the scenes but can’t say much there except squinting his eyes. Other few helpers in the movie did their part well.

I would rate the movie as a 3 on 10. This would probably satisfy the audience who look forward to a couple of duet songs, a skinny heroine and hero patronizing scripts, but for more evolved audience, it is quiet a disappointment.

7am arivu,sadly, hoped the audience to have less than average intelligence.

Friday, August 05, 2011

Banker attitudes

Have you ever wondered how these banks function... they are like jerry maquire!!! All they scream about is "GIVE ME THE DAMN MONEY" These suckers basically live because of us and they dare to kill some of us.

First they call every one during office hours all the time begging them to take loans, credit cards, insurance policies and what not. Then they link all our account with auto debits.. and they rip us with different blind charges in one with the other. When you ask them a question they say.. "sorry our insurance is separate from banking" .. like hell they are!!

I have had quite a nightmare with ICICI. I held savings accounts, credit card & insurance policy for my mom & sisters with ICICI. When they gave me the insurance policy they said i could back off anytime i wanted and they fixed an auto-debit to my credit card. I paid for more than a year and realized i couldn't use that stupid policy unless my mom was admitted in the hospital and only for a normal flu.. dental was not covered, serious diseases like cancer was not covered... god know wat else they covered!! but when i wanted to end the policy they said i had to pay for the rest of the tenure to close it like a preclosure.. since when did insurance become a loan??

It was not just the insurance policy that they auto-debited from my credit card, but they auto debited my savings account for my credit card. At one point they auto-debited everything i put into my savings account for my credit card.

So i started calling the customer support on ISD. Everytime i call them they put me on hold atleast for 10 mins and every single time it was a different agent with whom i had to give the entire fucking history. That took another 15 mins. As smart as they are, they would put me back on hold to discuss this with some lame manager who would get back to me later that never existed.

I write emails over emails with my questions and all i get is a reminder of my payment dues but no answers. Thatz when i decided i would not make my payments until they answer my questions and that i would let them do some work at least trying to trace me. It took them 2 years and some cheap techniques to track my contacts. In the mean time i got emails from gmail accounts from guyz i never knew saying i call them at some number.. some emails were as weird as.. "hey kanya...remember me?? call me at XXXXXXXXX" when i ask them who they are they don't reply with an answer but insist on me calling them. One such guy told me finally that he was from icici collections department. I asked him why he did not introduce himself formally he says RBI has approved this way of trying to get in touch with customers.. yeah right.

Finally after two years, today some guy called me and asked me if i was willing for a settlement. I told him i will not pay untill the bank answers my questions and he refused to give me his name and when i stressed on knowing him name he hung up on me. i tried calling back to the number and the number was invalid???

Who is to say these so called collection departments are legitimate. what if someone claims to be collections department, threaten us to pay and it turns out to be a online scam??

Guyz.. beware of such scandals. First the bankers and now they created an organization like CIBIL to threaten us with, they sell our information to CIBIL without our concent & even worse you have to pay CIBIL to get your own fucking credit report that has been tampered. Inspite of doing all this, they also have a collections department that threatens you with legal action & they even threaten you to affect your career and credit history.

I told him to go ahead & file a legal suit & i am more than glad to take my case to the court & show the proof of my conversations with the bank & pay the outstanding in the court. I would demand a clearance certificate immediately & my credit report cleaned up. I would also go for a compensation from the bank for all the threats they made me.

DON'T BE SCARED OF THESE BANKERS. They feed on us if we are weak. Its a shame that some people get away with scandals works millions & small customers are threatened & forced to kill themselves & their family!!!

Wednesday, August 03, 2011

Pets in our world

Dear friends, I had already once written about my pet world. I will make sure this is not repetitive and is more informative than the other.

I have a lot of people (friends & family included) who think i am a weirdo b'coz i tend to lean more on the animal world. No offense taken, rather, I sincerely pity the ignorance of such people. I see them as people who are scared of the unknown. I try to replace this unknown with the familiars so I can give them a chance to make an informative decision about owning pets.

So why do we need pets?

We really don't need a pet. But some of us just want one. Sometimes it is very difficult to express one-self in words. No language can do us the favor when it comes to saying what we really feel or when we do.. others don't necessarily hear us. When words don't help much, how do we expect others to understand our silence? This is where pets come in.

Somehow, these animals that we think as not equals tend to hear us more than any of our own. As adults, we seem to find peace with our pets more than with our fellow beings. It doesn’t matter how tired you are, how sad you are, how tensed or frustrated you are from work, yours pets always get you and they never leave your side. People who already own pets will know what I mean. So yes, I want a pet that sits beside me, looks me in the eye and makes me feel better about even the worst times in my life.

There are researches that have proved constantly, how pets help in keeping you and your family healthy. Besides, have you seen a kid with a dog as big as a Saint Bernard??  Apart from looking really cute, pets give an opportunity to the kids to learn to be active, independent and responsible, to share and be happy about it. So yes, I definitely want a pet for myself & for my kids to grow with.

I have seen how pets make a difference in many lives. For example, I had a family friend who had troubles conceiving a baby. There was a lot of pressure & a constant feeling of emptiness in their lives. Someone recommended that they either adopt a baby or get a pet. The couples choose to get a pet as their last attempt at relaxing themselves and a year later, they had a baby. This was possible b’coz their dog took their mind away from all the pressure & filled their emptiness to an extent. Today, they have a healthy happy girl who practically sleeps on her big hairy four legged friend. So yes, I want a pet so I can appreciate all the good things that these beautiful animals can do for us.

Ok, so we want a pet, but why do we have to encourage pet markets?

Well, this is a rather difficult question. In this world, we humans manage to find all illegal ways to make money. One of the ways is illegal pet markets that do not have suitable clean and healthy environments for juvenile pets to be kept for sale. Without having a proper authorized pet rescues such markets will not be totally removed only by a few of us making a choice to boycott them. How I see this is, yes, if you like a pure breed you can go to a breeder who keeps the pets in a good environment. This is like having your own baby & taking a pet away from such markets is like adopting an orphan.. so why not?? Yes you pay them, and they would continue.. but until we find an alternative effective pet rescue solutions, this will continue and you cannot do much about it. If it was not you, someone else would. A good pet rescue system involves government authorization, funds, networks etc. In a country like mine, such targets are very difficult to attain. It is even more difficult to sacrifice today for a possible tomorrow isn’t it?

We want pets, we get one – but what do we get?

Now, this is a very interesting question. What is the ideal pet for you? Humans have shown interest in a variety of animals as pets starting from a small fish in the bowl to pythons & alligators. But let’s get real here. I always believed that one needs an interactive pet meaning, the one that you understand. Every animal interacts in its own ways. The most acceptable pets world-wide are dogs, cats, birds & fish. Lets look at each one of them & see how to choose them.

Dogs:

Every breed has a distinctive nature. Every dog within a breed has distinctive personality. Look for what your requirements are. Create a checklist based on health, life expectancy, activeness, grooming & maintenance, social traits like the general breed’s reaction to kids, outsiders & other pets. Short list the breed (cross-breed) that suits your requirements. When you are at the breeders or the shop & you have a bunch of possible pups in front of you, let the pet choose you. Look for a puppy that is interested in you, the one that is not scared of your movements, that is active & healthy. It is very important to know that the puppy you choose has had the at least the minimum time with his / her mother. Only such puppies will be healthy and not overly dependent on his/her human friend. Look for any signs of illness in their eyes, under their paws and inside their mouth. Feel their stomach & see if you feel any hardness. If everything is clear, ask the seller to get the dog checked by a vet & certify as healthy before you take him home or ask him to let you get the puppy checked & get back to him within a day with feedback. Get the puppy checked, de-wormed & vaccinated if not done already & take him home.

This are my dogs, alex, bruce, eddie & happy




When it comes to dogs, it doesn’t really matter which breed you choose for your first as long as you had done your research. The reason being, dogs are relatively easy to take care of & they show signs of any illness relatively quicker & visible than other pets like birds.

Cats:

Choosing a cat is not very different from choosing a dog. The same amount of research & checklists are required. However, the living conditions are different. For instance, your cats don’t need to be tied down once in a while or some of you may be allergic to cats and you may not know it until you choose one to live with you. Unlike dogs, cats need high play grounds, scratching poles, different food & toys, different vaccination & grooming requirements etc.,. So your research should include all these additional factors. If you don’t know whether you have an allergy to cats, try spending some time holding the cat close to you at the pet shop. If your eyes start burning & watering or if you start sneezing or find it hard to breath etc., you are probably allergic to cats. If you have kids, make sure they are not allergic either.

This is my sister's cat, he was rescued by bruce.


Birds:

Now, birds are a tricky subject. Not everyone is good to have a parrot as a pet. Birds, unlike dogs or cats, take a long time to accept you as a family. When I say long, I mean really long. Some birds might take a few days, some take few weeks & some take months to accept you and your family, especially if you choose to get an adult bird. If you choose to get a chick, then the baby bird needs proper feeding that involves techniques, they need proper heating (warmth) and close monitoring like measuring their weights everytime you feed them and every day etc.,.

Bird’s lifespan can be as high as 80 years depending on the breed. This means more responsibility for their human friends & more commitment. Birds are generally very intelligent, very active, very creative, very destructive & very noisy depending on the breed. Because of all these, birds require a human friend who is willing to spend the time with them, train them, give them enough toys that are not harmful to them etc.,.

Not all birds get along with everyone in your family or outsiders or kids or your other pets. Even a small bird like a cockatiel can bite you hard enough to draw blood from your fingers. The most tricky part of having a bird as a pet is their health. Birds usually don’t show signs of sickness until its too late. So it is very important to observe their weight very often & also the amount of food they eat, the water they drink & very importantly understand their poop.. Yes you heard it right. You need to understand what the bird poop is made of & how it changes with the food they eat & what is healthy & unhealthy poop etc., These are the only things that would warn you about their health.

They have specific diet requirements & specific living conditions. They need to be used to eating different variety of food including vegetables, fruits, nuts, breads, rice etc.,. some birds can be very picky eaters & it can be a challenge to get them to eat variety food. Things like not using a Teflon coated cookwares or not using fragrant room freshners, pest control, even perfumes can be a challenge in owning birds as pets.

For the first timers, who wants to have a bird as the pet for the first time, it is very important to be careful about what you choose. I personally would not choose a chick from any breed, bcoz the feeding technique can be a challenge for both the human and the baby bird. Imagine feeding the baby every 2 hours and even in the nights and doing it right with the right food in the right temperature etc.,. if you choose to go for an adult bird it might be difficult for a first timer to understand the bird’s body language & could be intimidated. Once the bird knows you are scared of him, he is too smart to let you anywhere close to his cage.

Larger birds are highly territorial & very hormonal during the breeding seasons. They go through different phases that can be challenging for a first timer. A first timer can probably choose a weaned baby that is still a chick but can eat by himself. But you should learn to establish connection to the bird at an early stage so it is easy for you to keep track of his health closely. You might have to learn & train the parrot to let you hold him quickly so you can measure his weight everyday.

Once you have done your research and made a choice on the breed, you look for certain key things in a bird when you have to pick one. Similar to dogs or cats, the bird should show interest in you. As the seller to set up a room for only you and the bird for few mins to see if he shows any interest in you. As I said before, birds are very intelligent in their own way. This makes them very curious about everything around them & us. So if you are holding a mobile phone or a shiny keychain etc., the bird should be tempted to take a peek at it if he is interested in you. Other than showing interest in you, he should also be attentive of his environment. Any noise should make him turn around. A healthy parrot would be attentive, active, curious & noisy. Look under his wings for any signs of illness. Sometimes, their feathers under the wings may look dull or scorched in patches. This is one sign to look out for. As ever, look for their poop while you spend some time with them. So, one needs to research a great deal about the bird when they choose to have a parrot for a pet.

Having said all that, if you can move past all the above flags, having a parrot for a pet is the most rewarding of all. Imagine a pet that can actually understand you and sometimes reply in a sensible way. My parrots tell me “I love you” when I tell them the same. So all I have to say is “I love you” & I get it right back with kisses..

Here are my birds diya, feebo, chinna & some cockatiels that hatched in our aviary & hand trained by my little sister:







So guyz, if you think you want one of these pets to brighten your days talk to one of us who have one. Try to visit your friends who have pets & see what they can do for you & choose the right pet for you. Do your research, learn about these amazing animals & then make your choice. If you still think pets are not meant to be, make an effort to learn about them & not judge the people who have them….

Good luck guyz .. hope you all have a great life ahead.

Sunday, July 24, 2011

Theivathirumagal

It doesn't matter how many movies you see, when there is a trailer that catches your attention you get your hopes up!!! This was one such movie which raised our expectations but failed to live upto it.

Every story has a underlying story line. What the trailer promised was a man who has a physic of a full grown man but has a mind of a 5 year old. It made the audience look forward to a playful story. But the director thought otherwise. He portraid an emotional bond between a father and his daughter. For this the man dint have to be mentally underdeveloped!!

This was not an original movie. I believe swati mudyam (chippukul muthu) was the original that gave an idea for this movie. However, there was no justice done to it's origin.

Psychologically, a mentally underdeveloped person such as the hero would not be able to take care of himself, let alone father a child. But the hero in this movie is well organized, follows a routine and is very perfect. Be it cutting the chocolates into perfect squares or taking the same particular road to work, boiling the milk for the baby the way he was taught.. etc doesnt really put his character upto the challenge it was intended to. This kind of meticulous behavior is more of an OCD(obsessive compulsive disorder) than mentally under developed. This in itself beats the character on which the story was built.

The first scene in the movies raises a question. How on earth was this hero able to have a baby in the first place. Just to avoid such discrepancies, the director made it a point to include some inappropriate jokes like "it is sufficient for one person to know the details(about sex)" twice in the movie. Such inappropriate jokes were uncalled for even if there was a need to show enmity between characters. This totally undermines the sanctity of innocence in the movie.

Then comes the court scenes which was built completely against the belief the movie was built on. The lawyer (heroine) tries hard in all possible ways to defend her client from being proven mentally unstable and in adequate to care for a girl child.. which was actually the truth. This shows that the director himself was in conflict or that he is not sure how else to proceed with the story.

A simple hug from the hero sends the heroine into dream state?? Really?.. Again this was just an excuse to let the heroine do the rain dance and had no relevance to the story!!! The movie puts unwanted weight on the emotions of the mentally underdeveloped person.. Who by the way is actually suffering from OCD which explains why he doesn't get distracted by anything like a 5 year old boy does, but is obsessed about everything including getting his child back. But what it fails to shows is the emotions of every other normal persons built around the kid and her father.

For instance, the gal's chitti who consistently sees the pain in the child or ignores it to her best. The way the kid's grandfather behaves, or the way the prosecutor behaves when he locks the hero up. This is all deliberate efforts of the director to impose the heroes character as superior to others and to create a sense of sympathy amongst the audience. There were other editing mistakes like how the lawyers traced his whereabouts to avalanchi or how the guy from Ooty changed his mind about his testimony in the court etc.,.

Having said all that, the ending was quite dissapointing as well. It shows that everybody around him were quite heartless to let him leave without his kid and that he himself doesn't keep his promise to his kid that he would never leave..

There were several similar movies both in the hollywood & in tamil industries that did a better job than this one.. to list a few, Rainman in hollywood.. padikatha methai (although not mentally challenging character.. but showed the innocence even better).. chinna thambi.. chippikul muthu.. etc...

The movie at best is a drama of conflicts. However, we cannot pass it without a word of appreciation to actor vikram & the kid who played his daughter. They have done the best with what they were given.

Other than that, there are a lot of "could have been different"s in the movie. On the whole, the movie did not do justice to the characters, actors or the story itself.

Friday, March 05, 2010

Vinnai thaandi varuvaaya!!!

This week was suppose to be a relaxing week for me... but for some reason my migrane is increasing with every movie I see.

I had seen nearly 4 movies so far.. Tamil padam.... nothing to say about this movie... Waste of my time.. Jaggubhai.. although not as good as Wasabi it was ok.. bearable atleast.. Aayirathil Oruvan.. i already posted my dissappointments about this movie in my previous post.. then I saw Kutty... will speak about it later. Now its Vinnaithaandi varuvayaa..

I remember how i felt when I saw pachaikili muthucharam.. and Gautham Menon has done it again with this one too. the movie was a 3 hour movie but i felt like i was watching the same damn thing for nearly 8 hours or so. it felt like it would never end. Every part of my body was pleading me to get the hell out of the theatre after the interval. Unfortunately i was stuck right in the middle of the row!!!

after a sleep over on this movie all i can remember is "karthik... karthik.." "jessy jessy" "of all gals in the world... why... why did i love jessy?" "sorry karthik.. this is not happening karthik.... this is over karthik".. "why did you come karthik" crap... looks like they had a budget problem with the dialog writter and he quit after he wrote 10 pages of dialogs. So Gautham menon managed to reuse the same dialogs a zillion times through the movie!!

One movie one climax would have been better.. we had 4 climax and none of them were different from the others... same climax once in a wedding church, second after that in reality.. third in a dream sequence and again forth in reality again!! Jesus Christ!!!

I kept thinking this was the end of the movie and anytime I would see the names scroll up the screen and then there was a song and then the movie repeats again!! Music wasn't great either.. sound track was hardly any good.. It felt like an infinite loop!!

the only soothing thing in the movie was simbu's costume and trisha's make up did not hurt the eyes.. but they compensated it with dialogs.

God knows why they had to address each other my their names at the end of every single dialog!!

Overall.. Vinnaithaandi varuvayaa is a bad migrane and totally not worth the ticket and 3 hours of my life!!

PS: please don't tell me how wonderful the movie was if you liked it.. congratulations you have more patience than me!!

Good luck everyone!!

Wednesday, March 03, 2010

Aayirathil oruvan????

Hello friends,

Long time.. but i couldn't resist posting this.. so here goes...

I heard a lot about the movie Aayirathil Oruvan.. most of the talks were about how awesome the movie was and that they have never seen anything like this before..!! seriously??

Well I beg to differ.. I may not be a great critic but i do know how to appreciate a good movie and considering that I have seen far better TAMIL movies before (black&white once too) even without all these gimicks and graphics this movie dissappoints me!!

I did have some expectations on the movie but then as I was watching the movie I was constantly reminded of some english movies. To list a few obvious once.. there was Mummy... Anaconda.. Lara croft tomb raider.. congos.. armagedon.. gladiator.. treasure hunter... gheee... was there anything original about this movie?? ooh wait yes the Cholas and the Pandyas.. But this was more of a dirty fantasy than any fiction!!

I have seen many english movies where they awaken long forgotten dynasties into present day life. But I bet I did not see one single movie where they projected their history as dirty.. filty.. stone age men types.. they projected them to be more courageous than they possibly would have been.. more honest .. but there was soo much deceit in this movie that was hard to digest.

the first part of the movie is definetly not for a family to watch together. This was purely commercial. If you are someone who likes to watch cat fight then yes you would just love it.. 2 chicks having no control over their english tongue and a illiterate guy also not having control over his tamil is sure a feast to all those ears that would have expected some quote unquote fun in the movie.. one could actually call one of those "HOT" lines to hear such things for all you know...

Mummy was a horrible movie... but atleast the archaeological hunt was lot more decent than this!!

Now the second part of the movie.. One, the dialect was good and I appreciate it but it looks like after a point they just din't know what they were doing with the movie or how they were going to end it. Last few scene there was absolutely no dialogs and it was not making sense either.

Right from sending a message to the police guy, he picking up the cell phone from no where and army jumping into the battle field in parachuts.. there is no link no continuation nor is there any sense to it.

Most importantly, to project a great dynasty that gave us emperors like Raja Raja cholan, who knew and respected the code of war, and some great art and literature as some kind of cheap magical beings that cast a curse on people who come looking for them and to visualize the well known pandyas with such rich history to be so deceitful is utter rubbish. If war is what the director wanted to show, there were zillion ways of doing it.. it din't have to involve seduction, verbal vulgarity and obsenity. I am positive i wouldn't want my future generations to learn anything about history with this kind of media mis-use.

If you dare to call this a periodical movie i think imsai arasan 23'am pulikesi was more a periodical movie than this!! of course i am not comparing the content at least there was full time comedy in pulikesi.. but i serious don't understand the message here.. Is the director saying that the pandyas defeated cholas or will continue to defeat cholas by cheating them?? or they trying to say that cholas will run and hide?? What is it?? i think Madagascar had more clear message than this!!

Its a shame that no one from chola and pandya legacy is around to raise questions about this entire drama.. trying to be hollywood is fine.. but then you need something solid to claim that. Techincally speaking yes good try but not the best.

Personally i would have appreciated this movie better if the director concentrated more on showing all the difficulties in exploring the long lost dynasty and ending the movie with the invention than actually imaging how it would be if people from centuries ago still managed to dig holes into mountains and live there for god knows how many years.

performance-wise.. every one did their part fine. Again nothing great about it either.

It looks like Karthik was trying to look alike and talk alike paruthi veeran only a little less hairy.. i guess he is using this movie to have a smooth transition from his first movie to the next one as a college clean shaved smarty!!

Reema sen.. there was more cleavage than performance.. Andrea had neither.. well may be just some flaunting her knowledge on english vocabulary and human anatomy... parthiban... not a jaw dropping performance considering he could do this role far better. Towards the end he looked as confused as I was watching the movie.

Background music.. I don't remember hearing any music that actually makes me connected to the scene. Songs.. mostly in irrelavant places.. first 3 or 4 songs were only for commercial purposes and din't make sense at all. I could even accept the remake of "atho antha paravai pola" but "govinda govinda" was totally out of place.. "unmela aasaithaan" good to hear but i still dunno why there was the song at that moment??

"Thaai Thindra Manne" was a good song but again the one where reema sen challenges parthiban to sing was over done.

Overall, there was lack of continuation, logical-sense, tolerance, knowledge and respect for history and last but not the least originality. first half was obscene, second half was dragged and the climax was rushed!!

PS: I know some people are gonna say "this is a crappy review.. what do you know about movies.. who are you to do a critical evaluation... etc etc.. " thank you everyone for your reactions... if you enjoyed the movie so be it.. i just din't.

PS2: with the way movie ended.. I pray to god there is no part 2 for it (there can be a PS2 though :P). If having english dialogs and sexual scenes and some graphical gimicks raises this movie to a hollywood standard then i sincerely feel sorry for hollywood.

Friday, January 15, 2010

Tonight I ask!!

Is it true that everyone deserves to be loved? Then how come some people are luckier than some of us? There are some of us who indeed find love.. some of us who found it and lost it.. but there are many of us who never got to know what it is.. isn't it!!

There are so many people who come and go in our lifes. Some leave us with a plesant memory to take to our graves and some not so plesant. what matters is at the end are you feeling really lucky? Are you??

so what is love?? and why is it not for everyone? what qualifies you for love??

well before you all give me a shout and say "LOVE IS FOR EVERYONE" think about what you have and what you don't have. I am not talking about love that is just finding your mate, but the love that you grow-up with and learn to grow into.

I grew-up thinking I was loved. Infact, I was loved, when I was a kid. But that love never grew with me. It was lost amongst ego and pride. I still believed that I was loved but then I realized I would be loved only as long as I do not have opinions or if I had one I kept it to myself.

It was not just me being loved, but for me to love too.. I was allowed to feel love in my heart, but I was allowed to express it only when it was needed.

There was not a single night I did not go over every insignificant details and wonder what I had done wrong or what I could have done better. But can I be a better daughter than I was? or a better sister, better friend??

Everytime this happens, I tried to start over, have a clean slate and hoped that I would end up in a place where I would meet different people and may be just may be they would indeed be different. How many more places I can be?, how many new beginings could I possibly have for myself? and how long can I hold on to hope and not question the sanity in it?

The longer you wait hoping to cross paths with someone who would love you and let you love them, the more you start questioning if it is really worth the wait.

With all the love one feels in one's heart and no where to express one tends to consume all that love oneself. Else your heart thickens with all the emotions that it become more sour and painful. And so I did, until I realized I was completely drained of it.

Today, I sit in my dark rooms wondering how my grey days would be. But for now I am more confused as to if I am incapable of loving anymore or is it just a temporary insanity. Guess I would never know because, I am not so lucky after all.

For all the lucky ones out there, if you think what you have is what you wanted, then hold on tight. And for those sailing in my boat, don't let it consume you. Trust me, its more painful to lose hope than have a meaningless one.

Wednesday, September 02, 2009

Do we really know??

I have always been a pet lover. Although my experience with pets were limited to dogs, now I have included birds in my family. A few things my friends and others ask me are:

(1) Don't you think its cruel to put these exotic birds into the cage??
(2) Ghee aren't these dirty and damaging your house and furnitures??
(3) How do you know they really love you?? there is always a wild side to these birds and they would surely turn against you and then the damage would be too much!!
(4) what if you got married and have kids... these birds could harm them can't they??

Not that I am an expert but do we really know anything about the world other than ourselves. Lets try to find answers. A zillion years ago, we never knew the concept of pets. Even dogs were not in the realm of pets. we tamed them and used them to our needs. Then we got a little more attached and made them domestic pets. If that was possible then any species would be made a lovely pet, don't you think? ok i hear you.. may be not pythons or anacondas but lets be sensible here!! :)

Ok, here is my view on each of these question:

(1) Don't you think its cruel to put these exotic birds into the cage??

May be, if i was to capture a bird from the wild that knows its habitat and has all the survival instincts and try to put them in the cage and tame them then definitely yes. it is cruel and there is no word to even try to rationalize it. But think about birds that hatched in an incubator, hand feed and tamed from birth. All these birds see is human faces. If the bird's instinct is to be in flocks, these incubated babies think we are its flocks..

Birds like dogs or any other pets, have a personality of their own. Especially bigger breeds of birds that are more intelligent have a very unique sense of bonding capabilities. I have known some birds that think another bird of the similar species are intruders and are very possessive about their human friends.

if such a bird was left in the wild, true that over time they would learn to accept the other birds and be wild again, but wat are the chances that they wud survive the time needed to learn the survival tactics?? if birds like certain species of macaws that are huge and strong can become nearly extinct in the wild, i very much doubt the chances of domesticated birds learning to survive in the wild.

Having said that, what can we do to give these amazing creatures a better place?

My birds are in the cage only by choice. By that, i mean, their cages are always open. They get into the cage only to sleep. Now is it safe?? may be not. there are electric wires around the house hold that can cause harm to them. So what did i do? i baby proofed the apartment. hide the wires away from chewing. but just because i baby proofed it that doesn't mean they would not chew anything. so i need to protect my furniture, the alternative it to give them something they can chew on.. wooden toys... my best choice.

variety of diet and plenty of fresh water everyday, free around the house, lot to chew on and play around foraging toys to find food and treats, place to hang upside down and much more.. makes a happy bird that is safe and healthy.


(2) Ghee aren't these dirty and damaging your house and furnitures??

Yes, they are messy, but so are dogs and cats. Just b'coz we don't care about picking after our dogs on the road doesn't mean they are not messy. I could potty train my birds if i wanted to .. or over time they learn that they could poop only in the cage over the paper everytime you tell them no when they poop outside. i clean the place everyday and i spread newspapers to easy clean them. 50% of the job is made easy.

(3) How do you know they really love you?? there is always a wild side to these birds and they would surely turn against you and then the damage would be too much!!

Yes, bird do have behaviour problems like excesive chewing, feature plucking, screaming, etc., you can look at it as issues or you can look at it as their desparate means to get your attention. This only means that they do care about getting that special attention from you only becoz they want you. does that answer the question about if they do love u??

its their wild side that makes them what they are. Its is also the wild side in us that we forgot that scares us about such beautiful creatures.

(4) what if you got married and have kids... these birds could harm them can't they??

These are only perceptive question that try to push you off the track. As far as marriage goes, if two people don't want the same thing, then the question of marriage is off the table. Kids.. well yes, it could be potentially dangerous not b'coz these bird intend to hurt babies or kids.. its not like they like baby flesh. Its only their way of defense from sudden movements from babies or kids. if you provide enough space for your birds and prepare them for a new born in the house, for example, play them a crying baby noise once in a while even before your baby is born, they get used to the noise like any TV or radio noise and then when the baby is actually there the bird is not disturb with a new member in the flock. the bird gets his timely rest and so, he is his usual.

So my point here is, we are more smarter than them and thatz why we are in a position to give them a home and not the other way round.

The bigger picture here is, we probably shouldn't have created a market for pets, but now that we have done it and there are incubated babies of varied species that finds it hard to survive in the wild, the best thing to do now is to inhabitate them amoungst us. What do we need to do that?

(1) Increase awareness amoungst humans about the species.
(2) motivate kids to learn about them. I have seen kids who get so excited about seeing such exotic birds inside the cage that they abuse them from outside. Screaming at them, banging the cage or throwing things at them thru the cage. Kids should learn to be otherwise with these species. One thing i observe is if the parents are relectant about such pets, then they wait till the bird reacts to such abusive behavior of the kids thru the cage and scare the shit out of the kids about these birds. "i told u these are dangerous birds" WRONG.... learn and then teach!!
(3) May be start with smaller breeds of any species and then grow into them.

What can we achieve from this??

Simple, we all raise our voice for cruelty against women, child abuse, fashion shows etc etc.. why b'coz we can relate ourselves to those things. like wise, if i had a cockatoo as a pet, and if i learn that somewhere across the globe some cockatoos are put thru cruelty, i wud be able to relate to it and voice for them. else, i don't understand the need to even bother about it. if this continues then may be few decades later, we would be able to slow down on captive birds being bruetly forced into the pet industry. Who knows, we could even prevent some of these species from being extinct.

Remember we are the most smartest beings on earth and there is a reason why we have a special gift of knowledge. We may not be able to turn the table around over night, but over time we can achieve all we want. If birds all around the world can be admired and respected b'coz some of them are being domesticated, i think its a fair sacrifice. But, it also means that we learn about them and learn not to abuse them.

Lets make the world a better place for every being thatz been bought into life.

Wednesday, December 03, 2008

Are you really proud to be an Indian?

Voting is every citizen's birth right. But it takes a hell to get your voter id done!!

It is soo disheartening to see the plight of our country. Lets take Tamil Nadu for instance. The politics has been soo flooded by one family alone that you see DNA screaming out of it from every direction!! Its not just politics anymore, then came cable connections and television channel networks. Not only in tamil, but also all south indian languages. There is a channel to broadcast only movies, only songs, only scripted news to sound favorable to the ruling government and even only for comedy!! We originally had 4 channels but with a ego clashes inside the family, there are cloned television networks now broadcasting the same old shit.. only multiplied twice!!

Well.. with all these channels, one might hope to see some quality programs. Big disappointment there as well. All they show is purely crap and nothing but more crap. Lets try and list out some of these: movies based on love and varieties of love, movies that worship one man, songs again about love, disgusting comedy and some crappy reality shows!! ditto on all channels mostly during the same time!!

Nothing stops them with politics or television networks. Now the recent craz is with movies. Alright, buckle up for more crap on big screens. Their recent movies shows the wonders of love except for the part where there is a possibility of an outbreak of a deadly disease spread by the hero b'coz his back pack for travel has his dead lover in it!! Don't worry, the hero doesn't believe that she is dead!! Its perfectly alright b'coz thatz wat love is all about ain't it!!

What is their business proposition!!??

They want to be the monopoly is all areas.. and then wat? make a perfect slave out of all of us. Well wat choice do we have? It was quite comforting to know that youngsters these days have got over the infatuations and love theories they had a few years ago and that they are more involved into studies, career and success. Oh wait, with such movies in a row, I am pretty sure we would go back to square one again!!

And before you know it, we are all couch potatoes, blindly waiting for fantasy movies to tell us what emotions are and how life is to be lived. VOILA they have a bunch of stupid slaves at their disposal!!

Alright.. lets get to more serious issue. Most of us, who slog to earn our money, pay about 30% tax. Any idea where it all goes? Let me give you a few expenses accounts:

(1) In maintaining our dead and long gone politician's old houses and individual tombs. I bet many of us have heard phrases like, "this is where the great ****** had his breakfast", "Herez is where our ******** had is bath!!" .. blah blah. I am not saying its wrong.. but won't a memorial tomb do for all great leaders together??

(2) More precisely to TN, any idea how much we spend on our leader's medical expenses, his private nurse, his private helpers (only if he could sit and getup all by himself!!) for the love of god, isn't there a retirement age or a basic health requirement to be in a position like that?? I know every time I got a new job offer, I had to go through a serious of medical test including pregnancy test for god sake!!

(3) For someone who needs extra squad protection (more money paying them!!), how do we even expect him to protect us!!

I do have an innocent question though. Don't very old people pray god that when they die, they die without much pain or suffering and that they die without being a burden on anyone else?? How can you force a body to function more than its expiry date??

For someone whose ears are losing its ability to do its functions, his mouth works faster than his brain commands him to do so!! Either the media or the journalists should really know that he is not talking sense most of the time. If they did understand that I am pretty sure we wouldn't have to read or see a news that talks abt what he said and how stupid he sounded when he said it!! My ears people.. my ears!!!

One doubt though. with one dis-functional eye and the other being quite blurred up, what does he see sitting in the front rows when movie stars are performing on stage!!

There is a big fight inside the family, the media flashes it. They give out statements against each other, the media broadcasts it. And on one fine day they decide to patch up and the media is there is cover that too.. Hello... we have better things to do that watch this sick drama all the time!!

Elections another huge expenses paid by us. What do they promise?? color TV, one rupee rice!! want on earth does it mean!!

During Annadurai's time, one kg of rice cost around Rs 3 so he wished that he could one day help the poor by subsidizing the price to Rs 1. Have they not heard of inflation and value of money!! If I as a tax payer pay Rs 30 per kg of rice, I would still accept if the poor were given the same at a subsidy price of Rs 10/-. But one Rupee!! what do you think you have accomplished by that!!

Every drunken idiot of this state used to give 60% of their everyday salary to their family and drink the rest 40%. But now that they get rice of only Re 1. they give only 40% and drink for the rest 60%. Big achievement fellows!!!

There is more!! The sri lankan issue another sorry mishaps. Have you any idea how those people are treated in our land? They are treated as only refugees. A head count for the politicians. No one cares about how they live and earn their bread for everyday!! None of the locals are willing to offer them any job b'coz they are not sure if these refugees are good people or terrorists.

Why isn't the government care enough abt them? why can't they do a background check on each of the refugees and give them a government recognition so that would help our locals to trust them more easily. Well we don't have enough money for that now do we!! This is why most of them decide to die with dignity in their own land than be treated like nobody is our lands!! With all these discrimination you say Terrorism is infiltrating!!

Honey.. its not infiltrating.. it is something that you are sowing on these lands and watering it everyday with love and care!!

Let talk about the recent bomb blast in mumbai.. There are numerous places is mumbai where the terrorist groups could have attacked and raised their dead counts by hundreds.. why do you think they targeted leading star hotels!! Do any of us think about it. Did any of the politicians say why their target was richest of the rich!!

One of the recent shows on an international television network proudly presented the rough estimate of money the Bachchan family has!! Thatz right, the big B's suit costs atleast 3.5 lakhs!! Brand Ambassdors aye!! Big B, Mrs B, Chotta B and his fairy wife Mrs Ash B alone have a liquidity value of around 2000 crs. So much for bankruptcy huh? And you are thinking why all this terrorism?? Silly you!!

With all those pressing issues on hand.. there is more in the package.. Did you know that there is village full of people who mark their new born with a burning iron!! they believe that if the new born are marked like some cows in the cattle field, no disease or any supernatural black powers would haunt them!! Although there is a high infant mortality there, they are happy with the few that survive the hot bars!!

The Collector, doctors and the police men literally begged these people to not do so and also told them that any complaint received against people who do it would be arrested!! daah.. who is gonna complain if the parents are approving such an atrocity!! Why should you plead to save a life.. what if all those reproducing bunch in the village were given a quick visit by the family planning unit!! well technically its not murder. Atleast they wud be impotent to kill anymore lives!!

I may sound crude.. but whatz happening around us is even more cruel than it is!!

In a country where there is someone to raise a voice against cruelty to animals.. a five year old boy was torn to death by 15 dogs on the most busiest round in bangalore!!

Its hard to be a citizen of a country and not be able to do anything with it!! And most of us have enough on our hands to worry abt.. career.. family.. loans.. banks.. collections department.. and some of us care more abt movie stars, politicians, drinking etc etc...

There could be years and years of culture that can make me proud to be an indian!! but darling.. history is past!! what are we today!! Well I still care about my country thatz really why all these issues hurt me soo badly!! After all this we are doing or NOT DOING... Can I still be proud to be one!!

Tuesday, July 22, 2008

CIBIL CIBIL CIBIL

God... I have never heard one word soo many times before!!!

I think by now everyone knows what CIBIL is and what they do!! For someone who does't:

CIBIL: Credit Information Bureau (India) Ltd
They basically have all these financial organizations (banks) as their members. These members will maintain a record of all their end consumers (i.e you, me and everyone like us), their loans, credit cards, repayments and defaults (yeah thatz what they claim!!) with the CIBIL.

When you apply for a new loan or a credit card the banks would verify your records with the CIBIL and if you have a clean record then the loan is processed. Else the banks would throw your case right back at u!!

Now lets talk about what exactly is a clean report!! I believe, that the only way you could be a clean customer in your CIBIL report is, if this is your first ever loan or credit card you are applying for. Don't jump off your seats, I will tell you why I say that:

statutory warning: I have noticed that most the CIBIL issue complaints are on credit cards and not on loans (loan closure letters are given to the consumers and ppl do actually keep them safe!! but there are no closure letter given on credit cards!!! and even if they do ppl tend to loose it atleast after not using that particular credit card for years!!)

(1) you held a credit card ever in your life only becoz they said there was no annual fee on it!! and before the year ended for some reason you decided you won't hold that credit card anymore!!! : surprise.... you have been charged an annual fee and a interest for that and an interest for the interest and bhoom 4 years down the road there is an outstanding of Rs. 15,000 in your name. (I bet you never knew how much you owed them!!)

(2) you had a late payment fee of Rs 100 outstanding in your credit card while you closed it. You disputed with your bank on that and the customer support assured you that its ok now that you have closed your credit outstanding, they would wave you off that charge. You are all happy saving that 100 bucks!! guess wat, you are a CIBIL defaulter with an outstanding of Rs 21000 some 6 years down the road!!

(3) you have all the proof and receipt for making your last payment to the credit cards. flash news: it doesn't matter. Nobody asks you any proof of being clean!! only you know you have been a loyal pay back machine!!! no one else cares!!!

(4) Well let just say some bank denies you a loan / credit card on the basis of this report. you also genuienly want to settle it so it would have affect your credit history for years to come. You have no clue of who do you owe and how much and for wat account!! No on shares that info with you!!

(5) alright, you go to the cibil website (www.cibil.com) asking for a credit report on yourself. They do not entertain your request until and unless you have a 9-digit control number from the banker who has declined your loan / credit card application based on the credit report they have pulled on you with the CIBIL. Now, you go to the banker and request that 9-digit number. Banker would say that is confidential and we cannot provide you the same!! And finally the CIBIL will close your case saying "sorry, we cannot help you with that control number". KAPEESH!!

NOW THE GREATER ISSUES:

Did you know that this database with CIBIL has all your personal information and you are denied of it!!??

Did you know that CIBIL has no strong system in place to validate any of this information?

Did you know the RBI's complaint form is soo not user friendly!!??

Did you know RBI takes atleast 3 months to investigate such issues if a complaint was posted?

Did you know that CIBIL is not even a public authority!!!??

THEN WHAT ON EARTH MAKES CIBIL SOO DAMN POWERFUL WHEN IT HAS A DATABASE FULL OF UNRELIABLE PERSONAL INFORMATION ABOUT EVERY TAX PAYER IN THE COUNTRY!!

Wednesday, April 23, 2008

Nepali - most effective way to test your patience

God, until few months back I thought the worst movie I have ever seen was Pachaikilli muthuchcharam. Nepali definitely tops it. What on earth was the director and the producer thinking exactly?

The idea of bringing parallel story lines on the big screen is not a childs play!! Hardly few hollywood movies have painfully succeeded. "Kiss kiss bang bang" was one good example. There is a reason why such movies are not released in India!!!

Ok coming back to the sad reality of this movie, a lover, a jailmate, a mysterious killer with a thick tongue!! and finally an out of the body experience - after life soul!!! Jesus man, find a better way to engage your audience. The design of the movie greatly reminds you of the 12B casting Shyam, Jo and Simran!!

The standard tamil industries vengence formula is to kill the people who affected your life. The only difference in this movie (atleast thatz what they claim!!) is there is no vengence as such, but a pure social concern!! (I can think of a handful of Rajini Kant's movies with the same story line!!). The Stunts also resembles other movies. For instance, when Bharat kills the jailor, it reminds you of the movie Veyil!! The make-up for Nepali reminds you of Kamal's Evano Oruvan. The playboy character is done umteen number of times by the Actor Karthik!! (I don't understant What they claim as new and different in this movie??)

Ooh, there is another interesting thing in the movie. One can learn how best to kill someone without the trace of one's finger prints or any clues!! The killing is followed by clear medical reasoning of how the process actually works!!! Don't you think even without such enlightments, we have enough crimes to fight!!

There is absolutely no excuse for depiciting the police as one of those un-approachable, brainless, nomads. There is a seen where the police call for Karthik (Actor Bharat), actually asking him a favor to give information about someone. Karthik, duely says he would oblige as soon as he can. But when he walks into the police boundaries, he is treated like a criminal!!!

Its one way to spread the knowledge amongst people about the law and order (CSI, special victims units - Watch some star world man!!!), but to tell the public that police men are gonna be police men no matter what is not helping!!!

Last but not the least, the climax was the worst!! Either you say the hero lives to kill more criminals or he faces a sad death. But to show the ghost form of not only Bharat, but also Meera Jasmine and the Nepali guy walking into the light reminds you of the endless episodes of Ghost Whisperer and the concept of crossing over!!!

The movie does not have a big cast: lot of new faces and I personally find some of the new comers better than bharat!! (Prem for instance). Meera Jasmin looks very cute, but looks like the director did not find better ways to get her killed!! Her role was made to look very stupid I should say!!

The story was WRITTEN and DIRECTED by VZ Durai. If this is the kind of movies that he has in mind: Please stop making movies!! A word of advice to Bharat - Just different make-ups does not make a movie different and good nor does it make you a good actor. When you really want to make movies like this, learn from the masters!! (Navarathiri, Micheal Madhana Kama Rajan!!). Please watch your modulations. Yelling does not mean you are emotional or that you are totally involved in the movie. (Maddy's movie Thambi failed basically because of the high pitch!!)

In total, Nepali is a total waste of time for everyone. The producer, the cast, the audience and in some sense even to the director!!! Gives you a headache!!

Sunday, October 28, 2007

Expectations – a perennial overstatement

I know it’s been a long time since I wrote anything on my blogs. Surprisingly my world hasn’t given me enough to pen down a flaring post. Evidently, this doesn’t mean we have exhausted on topics to talk about, rather we have just numb down a bit.

Thanks to a pal who spiced up my night yesterday. Mind you, I don’t mean it in the biblical sense. We had a cell-phone conversation about what women and men want from their partners and as usual we succeeded in pointing fingers at each other and throwing tantrums over the other’s arrogance. When I say “as usual” I mean, that during such conversations, we get too personal and we forget the thin line between having a casual disagreement and having a microscopic dissection of the other’s personal life. What are friends for.. Savvy?

Well his argument was; why have expectations that would scare your partner away? And in my defense why should expectations scare one away?? You might wonder this could have been a really hot argument… not exactly. It’s quite funny where and how we started it. The expectation that got us started off was, why do women want to cuddle up post-sex and why do men complain so much about it?

Now let’s discuss about expectations here. It’s a known fact that not many men can satisfy a woman by all means at all times. Then what keeps the women happy about their life? Simple small expectations like this, which are heard and attended to. If men start complaining about it, then whats the point in having a relationship? And easy alternative would be a one-night stand and you could walk away with total disregard for each other and all of us are happy.. ain’t it?

My friend pointed fingers at my so called “disregard” for the men’s perspective on the post-sex cuddle up!! His argument fascinated me. This is how it goes:

“Men are tired and exhausted or they are simply not interested or there is no motivation to develop an interest in such a post session. If you want the pleasure of intimacy, lead the men to have a longer foreplay!!”

Not that, man is quite motivated about having a long foreplay either. When the women leads to ensure longer foreplay.. some men get bored!! Thatz besides the point. But my fascination is: is it true that if a woman wants something her way, then she needs to hold the truck card “SEX” to get it done from the men? Do men need a biological timer ticking at the end of the road to hear and see what women want? Gross!!

If a post session cuddle up is something a women desire, and if the total disinterest in such session is what repels men then why blame it on “expectations”. For the love of god - call it a mismatch!!

The world would be better off if all of us were homosexuals. We would get what we want the way we want!! Won’t we? No expecatations.. No repelling.. Nothing to disregard of each other and it is not just about SEX anymore!!

This is just a small example of what an expectation is and how misunderstood it has been. So are many other things in a relationship. I wish all of us could get it into our thick heads that there is NO UNCONDITIONAL LOVE. Every relationship has a baggage you either deal with it or you don’t. There is nothing to accommodate or compromise on. Be yourself and let the others be themselves. Choose the one whose interest doesn’t differ from yours – I mean in every aspect.

There is no taboo about sex – Talk about it. And for heavens sake when a relationship fails never says there was too much of an expectation!!!

Friday, July 27, 2007

An Emotional Absurdity

I am just a shambles, filled with illogicalities - not explained by the way my brain works, driven totally by strange sentiments, provoked by vibrant wickedness and yet so stung by damn consciousness. Well, guess I am just human.

You know when sometimes you got to do the right things, but you wish it din't have to be that way. Its that time in my life now!! I always knew that when you love someone too much, it hurts. What I am begining to realise is, if you love someone as much as you could, you are soo tempted to hurt them!! You become a liability even before you know it and I am worried that I might be one soon.

Let me be more candid. When you love someone and you are not sure if they truely love you, you try your best to seek the truth. I did. Being quiet aware that the road has a dead end, I am not sure why I did fall in love in the first place. I gave the benefit of doubt to the nature of love itself and was willing to embrace the illusion that love has no expectations or conditions.

When the love was reciprocated, though not in the way I wanted, I was truely sweeped off my feet. So much so that I forgot that there was no future to it. It wasn't too late before I came back to my senses and realised that I am living a fantascy. Felt humiliated for acting like a teenager.

Then it came upon me. The conflict between what I want and what I can have!! All these conflicts are basically provoking the evil in me. I secretly wish I could make the road straight, break the wall that ends it. Where there is a devil there is also the cursed consciousness.

What I am truely worried is, what if this evil in me pops out in the most inappropriate time? Or what if the one who claims to love me today ends-up hating me tomorrow? What if I did become a liability on his life?

The answer is easy said - STAY AWAY FROM HIM. But how can you let go of someone you have such strong feelings for? Its hard to find someone so perfect for you and you never feel too good for them and now when you do, anyone else with him feels soo wrong!! How do you feel happy for him when you don't believe he is doing the right thing and you have no say in it?

I would never want to hurt him.... but what if I did!!!!???

Sunday, February 04, 2007

After a loong time!!!

Hello folks,

Thanks for visiting my blog even in my absence. Been a little lost in all the relocation and house hunting process.

For my friends who are not aware of - I have moved to Bangalore.

How about a bangalore bloggers meet?

Let me know.

Thanks
Kanya

Saturday, October 21, 2006

Advertisement - a social constipation

Hello folks,

I know it’s been a while since I visited my blogs... hope you all enjoyed a safe and exciting diwali.

Ever since I went to US, I have been a little cut off from our usual TV schedules. Not that I appreciate the never ending mega serial loops or those fascinating tollywood special stunts, but hey some senseless entertainment at times would do any harm. Though my break from such extravaganza was not long, I guess it was long enough for me to forget what the latest trend was.

Some of the couples (as in jodies) on these mega serials have swapped!!! Some of the mega serials haven't moved an inch!!! Cine industry is remarking old legends and is running out of good stories (as usual), music sucks and guess what I even noticed some of the most liberating ads on the stupid box.

I remember a quote from Steward I guess...

"Business without advertisement is like winking at a girl in the dark: you know what you are doing but no one else does."

This was one of the most important expectations guidelines of any advertisement. I doubt if that is true anymore. Some of the ads talk more about what harm their competitor brand does rather than what good their own product is. Sounds like politics to me!!! Worst come worst basis, an ad only has a catchy celebrity and the concepts are ridiculous and disgusting at times.

For instance, Fanta and Miranda ads were the most awfully moralizing ads I have seen in like a zillion years. I guess smooching around is the best use you can put your mouth to!!! or cheat a petty shop keeper of his money with Fanta caps is the smart kid job!!! Even a simple diaper ad sounds awful. Did anyone notice the ad were the infant moans b'coz his diaper fits him too good that he could do some exercise?? did you happen to close your eyes and listen to those moans!! gosh what is happening to all these ad agencies??!!??

There were times when we complained why would one need to women model in shaving cream ads or men's vests and brief's ads... but I guess those are smaller topics of concern these days.

All of us are aware and we know for sure that these ads attract infants and kids for some reason. They get influenced faster by such ads. Would my mother really want my teenage sister to go and kiss the movie screen while she is in a movie hall with a Miranda in her hand. I would be surprised if she did!!!

We sit on lunch tables, coffee breaks or some of us even blog, to talk about things like how do we let our kids know what is right and what is wrong for them. How they should learn to be responsible for their own actions. and how they should function in order to gain some self respect!! some of us even go to the extent of disputing that western culture develops kids to be way too independent that they lack emotional strings to their own family. Don't we?

Frankly, the time I was in the US, I did not see a single ad that said you could eat on credit and when the shop keeper asks you for money, you can fool him with a bag full of Cool Drink caps. They even say that such a kid is the smartest of all. Do we still expect our kids to grow responsible? I wonder what these social organizations do. They have all the time on earth to dispute a fashion show and media gives so much hype for such things. But what is the result, Ms. World or Ms. Universe have not ceased to exist nor did men stopped drooling over their posters for nothing..!!!

Parents work 16 - 18 hrs a day. Kids tend to spend a lot of time with TV or internet. We seem to have less control over any of these parental substitutes. For all those child lock systems and site blockers, our kids still have subtle but influential exposure to demoralizing propaganda through every bit of what they see. The box doesn't become a stupid box all by itself. It is only such media that makes it stupid. This leaves me with the thought that may be we are too blind to such media-crisy ourselves. Are we guiding our future generations in the right direction!!!!! Are we even capable of it???

There is another whole lot to discuss about the kids market that these big companies are targeting at. Amongst all these traveling and viral fever, I promised my sister that I would do her diwali shopping. So we went to a leading clothes outlet in the city. I was surprised at what my 8 year old sister wanted for diwali. She wanted a saree!!!!

I gave her a big lecture about childhood and the beauty of it and then he finally tells me.. Akka the small gal who compeers for the kids show on TV wears a mini saree and she does look beautiful.. why wouldn't I??? I had no answer for that but I had to refuse her diwali wish. Now I became the villain!!!!!

For pete's sake, we have enough alarms to be concerned about. Cultural shocks, premarital sex, AIDs. Why would we add to our concerns by killing the childhood and its innocents in our kids!!!

Who should bell these cats?? would social organizations be raising their voice against these as well!!!!






Monday, September 04, 2006

All about Sex and nothing but Sex!!

I know all of you are extremely optimistic about the topic.. :P

Well, sorry to disappoint you guyz.. this is just my thoughts on something I recently read in KK's blog about dating, sex, Aids and Gay... if I cannot call this sex what else can we call as sex!!!Sometime back I wrote about sex change (here). May be it is time to think more about it... :)

What drives our sexual needs - mind, heart or just the way the hormones are structured?? some studies show that it is only dolphin's and humanbeings that engage in sex for pleasure.. proof.
Why is this not true with other animals?? I nearly liked one of the reasons that this above study gave - "Competition for females often results in injury or death to males (sometimes!!! of the females themselves)"... :P

Jokes apart, what is it that drives us into sex.. and why is it different in some cases (like homosexuals). That is the natural process of sex and the requirements alters in case of homosexuals. Most likely we do not look for multiple partners (am i assuming here.. may be .. may be not) to engage ourselves in sex.. but the reality is some of us do..

The natural instincts about seeking something exciting and new all the time, may be one of the reason why some of us seek multiple partners over the time zone of active sex life. Ignorance is bliss .. but i guess these days blissfulness gets us AIDS... so beware!! But can educating people about sex and protection alone save us from such outbreaks? Just like in cigarette cases, even a condom cover reads that these do their jobs only 97% of the time... (i know this from "FRIENDS" don't let ur imagination run wild.. :P) Science has a lot of interesting borrowings from Greek.. monogamy is one of them.. but, can monogamy be a solution to this problem?

Well KK's recent post seems to belive that may be opening oneself to broad thinking and modernizing one's cultural arena of the traditional mating rules might be an alternative solution. In simple terms "dating". Not that there is no improvement in the way today's youth think. It is obvious from such blogging and discussions that we are thinking differently and may be we would practise it sooner than we thought. However, the question still remains - if we truely think any differently and can we accomodate such cultural changes into our lifes!!??

If I am to imagine myself setting aside some time, away from my professional life, to date men and explore my expectations about my own future, trust me, I don't see myself doing it well!! I seem to belive that I need to have a fundamental change in my perspectives about life and what it holds for me. To be able to trust and to be able to live upto someone else's trust is one of them.

Trust is a very tricky emotion. I can trust my partner to never cheat on me.. or I can trust my partner to confess in me whenever he cheats on me and then I can forgive him with all my goodness. Again, cheating here is only about his sexual conduct with other women (or men.. as the case may be). But is that all... there are cases were women seem to excuse themselves from monogamy only b'coz they know that their men cheat on them and viceversa. Are we all looking for excuses? Then, what is it truely that matters?

So now to the second topic.. why are there homosexuals? What drives their sexual needs? there is no fertilization or reproduction invloved!! how do we explain this biology? Are these proof enough to say may be sex is driving by emotions some times.. ?? if that is true, then why polygamy? How can ur emotions changes.. (fear remains fear may be the thing that we fear about may change but not fear by itself)

I always wondered why some relationships are soo broken hearted and pain felt when they don't end up in marriage.... is that b'coz u loose the sex right over the other? or is it the thought that someone else is going to have the right now?? b'coz if we loved someone no matter whether it ended up in marriage or not, the love could not change.. could it?

Can answering all these questions give us a solution to our problems - HIV, AIDS!!

Can anyone tell me if there has been cases of AIDS or similar sexual dieases in animals..?? obviously animals never knew monogamy!! so if there are no sexual dieases(no matter what it wud be called) are identified in animals... how did we get it??

lets think aloud.. and try to find out if we have answers to any of these mysteries!!!

Will be back soon.....