Expectations – a perennial overstatement

I know it’s been a long time since I wrote anything on my blogs. Surprisingly my world hasn’t given me enough to pen down a flaring post. Evidently, this doesn’t mean we have exhausted on topics to talk about, rather we have just numb down a bit.

Thanks to a pal who spiced up my night yesterday. Mind you, I don’t mean it in the biblical sense. We had a cell-phone conversation about what women and men want from their partners and as usual we succeeded in pointing fingers at each other and throwing tantrums over the other’s arrogance. When I say “as usual” I mean, that during such conversations, we get too personal and we forget the thin line between having a casual disagreement and having a microscopic dissection of the other’s personal life. What are friends for.. Savvy?

Well his argument was; why have expectations that would scare your partner away? And in my defense why should expectations scare one away?? You might wonder this could have been a really hot argument… not exactly. It’s quite funny where and how we started it. The expectation that got us started off was, why do women want to cuddle up post-sex and why do men complain so much about it?

Now let’s discuss about expectations here. It’s a known fact that not many men can satisfy a woman by all means at all times. Then what keeps the women happy about their life? Simple small expectations like this, which are heard and attended to. If men start complaining about it, then whats the point in having a relationship? And easy alternative would be a one-night stand and you could walk away with total disregard for each other and all of us are happy.. ain’t it?

My friend pointed fingers at my so called “disregard” for the men’s perspective on the post-sex cuddle up!! His argument fascinated me. This is how it goes:

“Men are tired and exhausted or they are simply not interested or there is no motivation to develop an interest in such a post session. If you want the pleasure of intimacy, lead the men to have a longer foreplay!!”

Not that, man is quite motivated about having a long foreplay either. When the women leads to ensure longer foreplay.. some men get bored!! Thatz besides the point. But my fascination is: is it true that if a woman wants something her way, then she needs to hold the truck card “SEX” to get it done from the men? Do men need a biological timer ticking at the end of the road to hear and see what women want? Gross!!

If a post session cuddle up is something a women desire, and if the total disinterest in such session is what repels men then why blame it on “expectations”. For the love of god - call it a mismatch!!

The world would be better off if all of us were homosexuals. We would get what we want the way we want!! Won’t we? No expecatations.. No repelling.. Nothing to disregard of each other and it is not just about SEX anymore!!

This is just a small example of what an expectation is and how misunderstood it has been. So are many other things in a relationship. I wish all of us could get it into our thick heads that there is NO UNCONDITIONAL LOVE. Every relationship has a baggage you either deal with it or you don’t. There is nothing to accommodate or compromise on. Be yourself and let the others be themselves. Choose the one whose interest doesn’t differ from yours – I mean in every aspect.

There is no taboo about sex – Talk about it. And for heavens sake when a relationship fails never says there was too much of an expectation!!!

An Emotional Absurdity

I am just a shambles, filled with illogicalities - not explained by the way my brain works, driven totally by strange sentiments, provoked by vibrant wickedness and yet so stung by damn consciousness. Well, guess I am just human.

You know when sometimes you got to do the right things, but you wish it din't have to be that way. Its that time in my life now!! I always knew that when you love someone too much, it hurts. What I am begining to realise is, if you love someone as much as you could, you are soo tempted to hurt them!! You become a liability even before you know it and I am worried that I might be one soon.

Let me be more candid. When you love someone and you are not sure if they truely love you, you try your best to seek the truth. I did. Being quiet aware that the road has a dead end, I am not sure why I did fall in love in the first place. I gave the benefit of doubt to the nature of love itself and was willing to embrace the illusion that love has no expectations or conditions.

When the love was reciprocated, though not in the way I wanted, I was truely sweeped off my feet. So much so that I forgot that there was no future to it. It wasn't too late before I came back to my senses and realised that I am living a fantascy. Felt humiliated for acting like a teenager.

Then it came upon me. The conflict between what I want and what I can have!! All these conflicts are basically provoking the evil in me. I secretly wish I could make the road straight, break the wall that ends it. Where there is a devil there is also the cursed consciousness.

What I am truely worried is, what if this evil in me pops out in the most inappropriate time? Or what if the one who claims to love me today ends-up hating me tomorrow? What if I did become a liability on his life?

The answer is easy said - STAY AWAY FROM HIM. But how can you let go of someone you have such strong feelings for? Its hard to find someone so perfect for you and you never feel too good for them and now when you do, anyone else with him feels soo wrong!! How do you feel happy for him when you don't believe he is doing the right thing and you have no say in it?

I would never want to hurt him.... but what if I did!!!!???

After a loong time!!!

Hello folks,

Thanks for visiting my blog even in my absence. Been a little lost in all the relocation and house hunting process.

For my friends who are not aware of - I have moved to Bangalore.

How about a bangalore bloggers meet?

Let me know.

Thanks
Kanya