Sunday, October 28, 2007

Expectations – a perennial overstatement

I know it’s been a long time since I wrote anything on my blogs. Surprisingly my world hasn’t given me enough to pen down a flaring post. Evidently, this doesn’t mean we have exhausted on topics to talk about, rather we have just numb down a bit.

Thanks to a pal who spiced up my night yesterday. Mind you, I don’t mean it in the biblical sense. We had a cell-phone conversation about what women and men want from their partners and as usual we succeeded in pointing fingers at each other and throwing tantrums over the other’s arrogance. When I say “as usual” I mean, that during such conversations, we get too personal and we forget the thin line between having a casual disagreement and having a microscopic dissection of the other’s personal life. What are friends for.. Savvy?

Well his argument was; why have expectations that would scare your partner away? And in my defense why should expectations scare one away?? You might wonder this could have been a really hot argument… not exactly. It’s quite funny where and how we started it. The expectation that got us started off was, why do women want to cuddle up post-sex and why do men complain so much about it?

Now let’s discuss about expectations here. It’s a known fact that not many men can satisfy a woman by all means at all times. Then what keeps the women happy about their life? Simple small expectations like this, which are heard and attended to. If men start complaining about it, then whats the point in having a relationship? And easy alternative would be a one-night stand and you could walk away with total disregard for each other and all of us are happy.. ain’t it?

My friend pointed fingers at my so called “disregard” for the men’s perspective on the post-sex cuddle up!! His argument fascinated me. This is how it goes:

“Men are tired and exhausted or they are simply not interested or there is no motivation to develop an interest in such a post session. If you want the pleasure of intimacy, lead the men to have a longer foreplay!!”

Not that, man is quite motivated about having a long foreplay either. When the women leads to ensure longer foreplay.. some men get bored!! Thatz besides the point. But my fascination is: is it true that if a woman wants something her way, then she needs to hold the truck card “SEX” to get it done from the men? Do men need a biological timer ticking at the end of the road to hear and see what women want? Gross!!

If a post session cuddle up is something a women desire, and if the total disinterest in such session is what repels men then why blame it on “expectations”. For the love of god - call it a mismatch!!

The world would be better off if all of us were homosexuals. We would get what we want the way we want!! Won’t we? No expecatations.. No repelling.. Nothing to disregard of each other and it is not just about SEX anymore!!

This is just a small example of what an expectation is and how misunderstood it has been. So are many other things in a relationship. I wish all of us could get it into our thick heads that there is NO UNCONDITIONAL LOVE. Every relationship has a baggage you either deal with it or you don’t. There is nothing to accommodate or compromise on. Be yourself and let the others be themselves. Choose the one whose interest doesn’t differ from yours – I mean in every aspect.

There is no taboo about sex – Talk about it. And for heavens sake when a relationship fails never says there was too much of an expectation!!!