Growing old, i am sure, has never been easy for anyone. Today is the last day of me being 34 and I realized I havent done half the crazy stuff i wanted to do. I have never spent a night alone at a cementary, haven't climbed the highest mountain or ever jumped of a plane screaming "I QUIT".
What I have done may not be as flamboyant as what Jan Kahm or Jimmy Wales did.. but I hope I can proudly say, I have lived through it & managed to inspire a few on the way. I have made a handful of true friends, fallen in love, made some bad choices, regretted a few of them but gotten over it none the less. I can honestly say that I have asked for help when I needed one & reached out to help a few when I could. I have learnt to accept love, to forgive, to smile, to laugh out loud (not just lol on chats) & to accept pain. I have not just grown old, but I have grown as a human being & I have grown wise.
None of us could pick the family we are born into, but we learn to love each other. We do have a choice at picking our friends and we learn to love them the same - even the nutty ones.... I have never been the easy one to understand, not because I am complicated, but simply because I never understood myself. I have had my phase of insanity, days of nightmares, weeks of heart breaks, months of narcissitic complex and then a deep slump into depression.
For those who stuck by me through all that drama, Thank you. Thank you for not feeling sorry for me, thank you for not telling me things would be alright or asking me to think all that was just a bad dream. Thank you for keeping me grounded and thank you for snapping me out to my sanity. Without you, I would probably be still in my teens.
For those who chose to leave, Thank you. Without you, I would still have grown but may be a little slower. I have seen the different faces of judgements, the shades of fear or jealousy in all of you. Most of all, I learned the power of giving up from the ones that gave up on me. I learned to let go!!!
So... Today, I stand before all of you and take pride in saying that I am a 34 year old woman who is strong, independent & wise yet capable of loving, caring & forgiving.
And oh... sexy as hell too.. :D