There were times when I closed my eyes, saw my prince charming, of course not on a white horse, but perhaps in a Chevrolet or a Skoda, racing to my rescue and waiting to be rewarded with a passionate kiss. Well, what do we know… Reality sucks!!!
When is it right to fall in love? How do you know if he/she is the right person? How much would you care to dump or about getting dumped?
To me, these contemplations made no sense. There was never a right or a wrong about falling in love, all that matters is, are you ready to accept it if it was wrong?
Love is closely derived from the basic theory of probability calculus. Every bloke has equal chance of being the one in your basket. Selections are made considering no replacement, which means, no bloke gets the same chance twice.
Let’s walk one step at a time. Equal chance!! This thumb rule of the theory is built on the strong assumption that all choices are equally good.. or perhaps bad. Even before any man enters the boyfriend zone, they are all justly scrutinized on various grounds. The purging happens based on their scores on sense of humor, the ability to carry one self in public, the attraction factor, the availability benchmark, good looks, good looks and more good looks. Those who have been considered for scrutiny and are not into the boyfriend zone enjoy the freedom of the friend zone.
Even when such details are perused and carefully marked, most of the time, we are not right the first time. Surprising enough, we master the art of dumping even before mastering the art of picking the right one.
These days I am not sure if there is anyone, who honestly believes that Love can happen only once. We could discuss this at length, but on a different context. Going back to our current talk, now that dumping is executed, the basket is empty and so the eligible bunch gets the spotlight again.
Now, where is divinity in all this? (Gosh!! I caught up with the title at last!!!) I have heard that Divine is never wrong, Divine is unconditional, Divine never hurts, Divine never dies. Then how could love be divine?
All of us are allowed to make mistakes in love. Now is this because of expectations? Well, I guess it is mostly explained by expectations.. at least thatz exactly what my ex-boyfriend said. If that is true, then isn't love conditional. Can there be unconditional love?? (This is open for discussion.)
Do we believe Love hurts!! If it does, then it should hurt both the man and the woman equally. But somehow, the one who gets dumped is always hurt than the one who dumps!!! What could possibly explain this? May be ego!!! (Well, I am just thinking aloud.. don’t take this personally)
Are you comfortable staying in touch with your ex? Could the care and concern you had for them die the minute you believe YOU made a mistake? I have noticed that the one walks away from a relationship feels worse about staying in touch than the one watched them walk away (Mostly!!). Does this mean you are feeling guilty to have made a choice to end it?? Or..
I am sure we could discuss all these in great details - after all the world is filled with experiences. But the bottom line is.. Can we all live with the fact that LOVE is no Divine or do we want to contemplate it?
IS LOVE TRULY DIVINE or IS IT JUST A LANGUAGE OF HORMONES?
8 comments:
Love is divine, you can go back if you want to, all the reasons you mention incl. good looks are important. I am not sure why the question is raised.
If you can't keep it simple, then you will be in similar troubles again. The only way to keep it simple is being true always. That's what i learnt, I was always truthful, somebody wasn't. Moving on, it is a conscious decision not to allow a lie ever. If I can't find someone who will be true always, hard luck. Love still will be as divine as it can be.
No point blogging about things that don't require it. We should only blog about things that are complez, not anything as simple as love.
Well.. Learning is quite an interesting aspect of life.. not everyone learns alike from exactly the same instance.
Being simple could mean being truthful.. I was.. and I learnt differently.. people are not concerned about your truth.. only you are... :)
I don't mean to say.. LIE.. I mean to say.. to me.. thinking love as nothing more than an emotional gesture.. keeps it simple... than trusting it to be divine...
I am ready to accept when I am emotionally imbalanced :P
As about blogging things... well there is nothing so complex to blog about!!
Thanks for your comment Rohan..
The problem comes when we try to force our ideas which come from ideals on things that are real. Good looks may be impostant to people but do they actually constitute to love? I mean the feeling of concern that you are talking abut is that related to looks? I have always felt there is a lot of love when some people give a 1 rupee coin to a begger, and at times there is no love when people give thousands in charity. I am not saying there is love everytime someone gives a ruppe coin to a begger, its not the gesture its the feeling behind the gesture. People come together because of attraction, Is there love in that, love probably comes at a later stage or does not come at all, and when love does not appear we ask questions like is love devine? the problem here is that we do not even know what is devine, we know some attributes, like unconditionality. . Unconditional love put another way means agreeing to all conditions imposed, unconditionally agreeing love. Now thats an ideal, I dont say that it does not exist in the real world, but are we ready to accept such a love, because when we find unconditional love we start looking for an attitude. . going back to the question do we know what devine is, I mean we also say everything is a manifestation of devine, so even conditional love, or forthat matter purely biological attraction (some call it animalistic) is also a manifestation of devine. It is love at a different level. you know in oOP theory they talk about classes, and levels of abstraction, at a very high level of abstraction probably love could be conditional. :) ....
Its like saying a truck is a vehicle so is a car, love is something like that class, what we experience is x's love, y's love we dont really experience love, a love with an identity is not love. If you remove the identity, and all that makes it unique and generalise it, love probably would devine, and then there are no questions like friend and the boyfriend zone. who says you only love your boyfriend? and what makes the bond you share with your boyfriend, love? it is probably some expectations, some assumptions. . and the moment one gets into those expectations and assumptions, love is lost. The fact is most of the times there is no love in love relationships. there only is expectation, there is probably desire. There is a lot of love when there is no love relationship. there are no conditions when there is no "love relationship" . . .
Be unmindful of love and love comes, keep looking for it and it disappears, the reason is we look for attributes, we understand things from their attributes, and we get so blind with the attributes that we lose the real thing. love is, if you believe it is, just like devine is if you believe it is.. . if you believe it is not , it is not, its not a physical entity, so any attempt to to identify it by its qualities will only take one away from what it is, its not nitrogen or hydrogen you can analyse and test in a sample. and even if it were some thing that could be identified with the qualities, its never pure, never in an elemental form as a chemist would put it, its always x's love or y's love, water has hydrogen, but water is water, so x may have love but x is not love.
we as human beings do not look for love, we look for love relationships, they are different. I think there is a lot of love in an 85 year old sharing an ice cream with an 80 year old, when all expectations of good looks have melted away, there is little love in a 20 year old and an 18 year old watching a movie together, there are expectations, there is attraction, but love ? there hardly is. there is no probabilistic theory here, love is everywhere in everything. togetherness itself is love. probabilistic theory that you are talking about is more like speculation in the stock market. you buy stocks and you sell them. there is no love in it, so it can never be devine. what you are talking about was virtuality. virtuality is limited reality, limited because we do not know reality, we have a limited knowledge of reality. and thats what we see in a virtual image, we never actually see reality.
We should have a Deloitte Hyd bloggers meet sometime.
you might find interesting read on the following link
http://www.psychologyinspain.com/content/full/1998/9bis.htm
Hi kanya,
it was intresting to read your extension of probability calculus to love! I
nfact there also exists this case where the individual does not choose any option from the given options..( all chances -1), i think that is the case of rejection in love which indeed is fatal for a guy or girl. Although this is encoutered by the guy generally(dunno how mathematically.. any clue??)!!
Well, i think love is a concoction of divine, semiotics and hormones [not to forget the maths involved!!:)]..
What do you say ?
Hi Amit,
Thanks a lot for the link.. interesting article.. :) and ur reply.. gosh!! so much of details.. :)
Knightatarms,
Glad u liked it... well case of rejection happens when failure had struck often and the next probability of failure is soo high that it scares the crap out of one to get hurt again!!!
does it happen generally to guyz?? well thatz very relative.. gals usually don't wait to see the second failure... they become smart after the first one :P
looks like u r opening a new blog... waiting to read from u...
Kanya
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