I know all of you are extremely optimistic about the topic.. :P
Well, sorry to disappoint you guyz.. this is just my thoughts on something I recently read in KK's blog about dating, sex, Aids and Gay... if I cannot call this sex what else can we call as sex!!!Sometime back I wrote about sex change (here). May be it is time to think more about it... :)
What drives our sexual needs - mind, heart or just the way the hormones are structured?? some studies show that it is only dolphin's and humanbeings that engage in sex for pleasure.. proof.
Why is this not true with other animals?? I nearly liked one of the reasons that this above study gave - "Competition for females often results in injury or death to males (sometimes!!! of the females themselves)"... :P
Jokes apart, what is it that drives us into sex.. and why is it different in some cases (like homosexuals). That is the natural process of sex and the requirements alters in case of homosexuals. Most likely we do not look for multiple partners (am i assuming here.. may be .. may be not) to engage ourselves in sex.. but the reality is some of us do..
The natural instincts about seeking something exciting and new all the time, may be one of the reason why some of us seek multiple partners over the time zone of active sex life. Ignorance is bliss .. but i guess these days blissfulness gets us AIDS... so beware!! But can educating people about sex and protection alone save us from such outbreaks? Just like in cigarette cases, even a condom cover reads that these do their jobs only 97% of the time... (i know this from "FRIENDS" don't let ur imagination run wild.. :P) Science has a lot of interesting borrowings from Greek.. monogamy is one of them.. but, can monogamy be a solution to this problem?
Well KK's recent post seems to belive that may be opening oneself to broad thinking and modernizing one's cultural arena of the traditional mating rules might be an alternative solution. In simple terms "dating". Not that there is no improvement in the way today's youth think. It is obvious from such blogging and discussions that we are thinking differently and may be we would practise it sooner than we thought. However, the question still remains - if we truely think any differently and can we accomodate such cultural changes into our lifes!!??
If I am to imagine myself setting aside some time, away from my professional life, to date men and explore my expectations about my own future, trust me, I don't see myself doing it well!! I seem to belive that I need to have a fundamental change in my perspectives about life and what it holds for me. To be able to trust and to be able to live upto someone else's trust is one of them.
Trust is a very tricky emotion. I can trust my partner to never cheat on me.. or I can trust my partner to confess in me whenever he cheats on me and then I can forgive him with all my goodness. Again, cheating here is only about his sexual conduct with other women (or men.. as the case may be). But is that all... there are cases were women seem to excuse themselves from monogamy only b'coz they know that their men cheat on them and viceversa. Are we all looking for excuses? Then, what is it truely that matters?
So now to the second topic.. why are there homosexuals? What drives their sexual needs? there is no fertilization or reproduction invloved!! how do we explain this biology? Are these proof enough to say may be sex is driving by emotions some times.. ?? if that is true, then why polygamy? How can ur emotions changes.. (fear remains fear may be the thing that we fear about may change but not fear by itself)
I always wondered why some relationships are soo broken hearted and pain felt when they don't end up in marriage.... is that b'coz u loose the sex right over the other? or is it the thought that someone else is going to have the right now?? b'coz if we loved someone no matter whether it ended up in marriage or not, the love could not change.. could it?
Can answering all these questions give us a solution to our problems - HIV, AIDS!!
Can anyone tell me if there has been cases of AIDS or similar sexual dieases in animals..?? obviously animals never knew monogamy!! so if there are no sexual dieases(no matter what it wud be called) are identified in animals... how did we get it??
lets think aloud.. and try to find out if we have answers to any of these mysteries!!!
Will be back soon.....
12 comments:
Ok First maybe the title maybe, should have read Emotions surrounding Sex! :) Regarding your last question on whether there have been cases of AIDS in animals - I think AIDS was transferred to human beings from chimpanzees! If you are interested u should probably read this : http://www.avert.org/origins.htm or maybe here http://www.originofaids.com/
SDs are different for many people. It can be different when you are an adult and after marriage.
It is an act of feeling oneself rather consider being sexual act itself.
SDs happen when you see; think ; act and do. Act can be diffeent but the what we derive is the same for all either animals/humanbeings.
HSs can be genetic/ based on environment. Some are different based on their emotions, feelings and intuition. We have SDs; HSs ; tran-genders so on. Its all in the process of experimenting oneself and identify themselves in their own groups.
SDs are same for all. But men indulge more than women (leave alone Pros') as their desires are more due to mental and physical stress. It doesn't mean women don't have stress. They can easily divert themselves in other activities.
http://www.narth.com/docs/animalmyth.html
http://www.subversions.com/french/pages/science/animals.html
Nice post... Well yes as IndianAngel has said...AIDS spread to humans through animals.
BTW I did'nt say Dating is the whole solution for HIV but it will surely decrease the HIV spread through MSM's.
I personally feel that sexual attraction and desire is one important reason that makes a guy a homosexual though exceptions are there.
Love doesn't have to be essentially based on sex though the latter is one of the tools to convey one's love for the other.
Hadn't AIDS spread from monkeys? ;-)
Now i ain't gaat no clue bout Pagan values and views on sex !!...But I would like to turn your attention to the following laws from The Holy Bible( King James Version) ...These Laws are from The Lord himself. The book of Leviticus( Esp. verse 23 on sex with beasts !) Chapter 18 from the Old Testament....=>
Le:18:1: And the LORD spake unto Moses, saying,
Le:18:2: Speak unto the children of Israel, and say unto them, I am the LORD your God.
Le:18:3: After the doings of the land of Egypt, wherein ye dwelt, shall ye not do: and after the doings of the land of Canaan, whither I bring you, shall ye not do: neither shall ye walk in their ordinances.
Le:18:4: Ye shall do my judgments, and keep mine ordinances, to walk therein: I am the LORD your God.
Le:18:5: Ye shall therefore keep my statutes, and my judgments: which if a man do, he shall live in them: I am the LORD.
Le:18:6: None of you shall approach to any that is near of kin to him, to uncover their nakedness: I am the LORD.
Le:18:7: The nakedness of thy father, or the nakedness of thy mother, shalt thou not uncover: she is thy mother; thou shalt not uncover her nakedness.
Le:18:8: The nakedness of thy father's wife shalt thou not uncover: it is thy father's nakedness.
Le:18:9: The nakedness of thy sister, the daughter of thy father, or daughter of thy mother, whether she be born at home, or born abroad, even their nakedness thou shalt not uncover.
Le:18:10: The nakedness of thy son's daughter, or of thy daughter's daughter, even their nakedness thou shalt not uncover: for theirs is thine own nakedness.
Le:18:11: The nakedness of thy father's wife's daughter, begotten of thy father, she is thy sister, thou shalt not uncover her nakedness.
Le:18:12: Thou shalt not uncover the nakedness of thy father's sister: she is thy father's near kinswoman.
Le:18:13: Thou shalt not uncover the nakedness of thy mother's sister: for she is thy mother's near kinswoman.
Le:18:14: Thou shalt not uncover the nakedness of thy father's brother, thou shalt not approach to his wife: she is thine aunt.
Le:18:15: Thou shalt not uncover the nakedness of thy daughter in law: she is thy son's wife; thou shalt not uncover her nakedness.
Le:18:16: Thou shalt not uncover the nakedness of thy brother's wife: it is thy brother's nakedness.
Le:18:17: Thou shalt not uncover the nakedness of a woman and her daughter, neither shalt thou take her son's daughter, or her daughter's daughter, to uncover her nakedness; for they are her near kinswomen: it is wickedness.
Le:18:18: Neither shalt thou take a wife to her sister, to vex her, to uncover her nakedness, beside the other in her life time.
Le:18:19: Also thou shalt not approach unto a woman to uncover her nakedness, as long as she is put apart for her uncleanness.
Le:18:20: Moreover thou shalt not lie carnally with thy neighbour's wife, to defile thyself with her.
Le:18:21: And thou shalt not let any of thy seed pass through the fire to Molech, neither shalt thou profane the name of thy God: I am the LORD.
Le:18:22: Thou shalt not lie with mankind, as with womankind: it is abomination.
Le:18:23: Neither shalt thou lie with any beast to defile thyself therewith: neither shall any woman stand before a beast to lie down thereto: it is confusion.
Le:18:24: Defile not ye yourselves in any of these things: for in all these the nations are defiled which I cast out before you:
Le:18:25: And the land is defiled: therefore I do visit the iniquity thereof upon it, and the land itself vomiteth out her inhabitants.
Le:18:26: Ye shall therefore keep my statutes and my judgments, and shall not commit any of these abominations; neither any of your own nation, nor any stranger that sojourneth among you:
Le:18:27: (For all these abominations have the men of the land done, which were before you, and the land is defiled;)
Le:18:28: That the land spue not you out also, when ye defile it, as it spued out the nations that were before you.
Le:18:29: For whosoever shall commit any of these abominations, even the souls that commit them shall be cut off from among their people.
Le:18:30: Therefore shall ye keep mine ordinance, that ye commit not any one of these abominable customs, which were committed before you, and that ye defile not yourselves therein: I am the LORD your God.
May the reader decide from this moment on and May the Good Lord lead everyone in righteousness so that they sin no more !
Thanks for the window of opportunity so I could bring these powerful verses to one and all. Remeber The Good Lord sends his Love to ya'll today. Have a great life everyone !
We Indians are hypocrites. Say the word in public and they look at you as if you smell dirty. We all didnt obviously fall from trees and so there is no harm in giving children an insight on the same. Khusboo was harrased just for the plain fact that she voiced her opinion in public. Donno when will we all see the day of light :-(
Seems like I saw ur post in the rite time... my thoughts revolve around the same issues for past few weeks...
I think the problem gets reduced to d kinda "brilliant social conditioning" v hav in place for centuries...
Wen somebody wants to control other person (say one's son, daugther, wife or husband), they bind them with the fear called "SIN"... and surprisingly, this tactic is working for years... In due course, it has been named "CULTURE"...
The one who thinks beyond culture ("self-realization") and has learnt to play safe, he enjoys the wisdom on this planet.
Also, its pretty disappointing to hear "sex is tied to marriage"... If it is really not so, why claim that??? How many guys (or gals) do you see who have NOT masturbated even once before their marriage??? Do you think parents can't guess this simple stuff???
Biologically, what is the difference between maturbating, straight sex and gay sex??? Nothing but orgasms... HIV is NOT related to having sex with multiple partners...
Its not that Indians are not fantascising multiple partners - just that they don't accept it openly... But the transparency is pretty much abundant atleast in our generation and I am sure it will only get better...
Great post, Kanya :)
Cheers
Hi Kanya... Well said. "If we loved someone no matter whether it ended up in marriage or not, the love could not change.. could it?"
I have thought about the same a lot of times. And i was always not able to relate sex with love. When we love someone, we like them, we like to see them, we like to talk to them, make them happy, make them smile forever and that gives us some kind of feeling where we forget the whole world. I do agree the love doesnt change even if it doesnt end up in marriage. But the thought that he or she is not ours makes us sad, and probably we wont be able to continue a close relationship(friend) after he or she gets married to someone. Atleast not at the present time in our country....
thought provoking post... nice open way talkinga about sex....
yeah animals do have sex-related diseases... infact AIDS came only thrught animals to us..
I just happened to stumble upon this post. Great post and so are the responses. My two cents worth from reading through the post/responses – If Humans and Dolphins are the only two species that engage in sex for pleasure does that some how make us physiologically and psychologically more mature that the rest of the animal kingdom (It as been proved that Dolphins are above the rest of the species, of course other than humans, it other aspects as well). Has this maturity mutated into a sense of good and bad in humans, if so then who defined right and wrong. Or did the Homo sapien during the course of evolution figure that acting upon his/her fantasy would end up in fighting like animals so better not to act on them. So does that mean any such fantasy could be termed as animal instinct? And cultural and religious leaders say that most sins are animal instincts. Having Fantasies that are considered Sins by society and not acting on them makes us Hypocrites?
சிந்தை இழந்து சிற்றின்பம் கண்டோர்
இழந்தது கைரேகை மட்டுமே
வாழ்கையை அல்ல
It is the society which restricts you and your life in a direct or indirect way . When the society forbids sex before marriage, do you expect every one to follow it. We are all unique with different habits. Most of the homo-sexual are created due to the sexual need. None of us are born with the ambition of getting married to a gal / guy . We were taught about it. Imagine you are capable of swimming but restricted from doing it till you reach certain age. Few of us listen , but most of us end up swimming secretly in a river , well , tub whatever we find .
How many of the guys have guts to buy a condom before marriage , OR can you imagine a unmarried gal asking for family planning pills in a store. Do you think the guys/ gals can have safe sex at this situation .
Knaya even you put a note when you wrote about the condom percentage saying you saw it in F.R.I.E.N.D.S. Why do we need to justice our self to others ? why is that we decide some one's character by comparing his sex life. we live in a pressure cooker situation and sooner or later it is going to blow .We got to accept the fact it is natural for people to have sex, The more open you are the more safer we will be . Is it the solution, Nope it is the beginning of the another problem .
Increasing percentage of divorce rates ? I think it is a diff topic altogether ...probably later .
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